How to Talk to a Parent with Dementia: Top Dos and Don'ts

Talking to a parent with dementia can sometimes feel overwhelming and emotionally draining, especially when communication barriers arise.

It's common to feel unsure of what to say or how to handle difficult conversations.

However, there are ways to ease these interactions and foster understanding and connection. Remember, every moment of connection, no matter how small, is a win for you and your parents.

In this post, we'll guide you through compassionate, easy-to-implement strategies to empower you to build stronger, more supportive connections, helping your parent feel understood and loved.

By following these practical tips, you can navigate the complexities of dementia with patience and empathy, making conversations a little less stressful and much more meaningful.

The Dos of Talking to a Parent with Dementia

It is crucial to understand how to talk to a parent with dementia, as the condition affects memory in sometimes unexpected ways. Before starting a conversation, ensure you're in a quiet, calm place with good lighting. A busy or noisy environment can make it difficult for a loved one with dementia to concentrate on a conversation.

A parent with dementia may be able to communicate more clearly during certain times of the day. For example, mornings can be a great time for a chat, especially after breakfast when your parent might feel more energized. Ensure that their needs are met before you start to talk with them.

Do Stay Calm and Patient

When speaking with a parent with dementia, it's important to remain calm and patient, even during moments of frustration.

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the condition influences their behavior, not their intention. Speak slowly and gently, allowing time for your parent to process what you're saying.

Simple words and sentences can ease communication, and maintaining a soothing tone will help avoid unnecessary tension. Staying centered and compassionate can create a space of comfort and reassurance for seniors with dementia.

Do Focus on Emotion and Body Language, Not Just Words

Dementia can sometimes cause changes in behavior toward family members and caregivers because they are the closest. It is wise to focus on the emotional needs of an elderly loved one rather than what they can remember. You can show that you're calm and comfortable with them, which can be reassuring. Be empathetic by speaking to their emotions. For example, you can acknowledge their feelings if they are worried about their partner coming home late.

Facial expressions and body language can show much about the emotions of an elderly parent with memory loss. Non-verbal communication can display clear signals about their feelings. If you do not fully understand what the person is talking about, ask them politely to repeat it. If they have difficulty finding the right words or completing a sentence, focus on their emotions. Even a smile or touch can show them you care.

Do Use Simple, Clear Language

Caregivers should learn to talk with an elderly loved one without making them feel incompetent or needy. Simple and clear language helps your parent feel independent and engaged, making communication easier for both of you. This is particularly important when dealing with aging parents who resist help, as it allows them to maintain their dignity while still receiving the care they need.

Make eye contact while talking and call the aging parent by name for effective communication. Be careful with your facial expressions not to appear tense or angry with your loved one with dementia. Remember to ask questions with a yes or no answer when talking to an older adult with Alzheimer's disease. If your mom does not understand what you're saying the first time, try to rephrase your words.

For some caregivers, feeling trapped caring for elderly parents can lead to emotional strain. Understanding and addressing these emotions enhances communication and strengthens the caregiver relationship.

Do Give Them Time to Respond

When talking to a parent with dementia, it is important to create a calm and supportive environment, allowing them time to respond. Dementia often slows down a person's thought process, so being patient and giving them space to gather their thoughts is essential. You might ask a question or make a comment and feel the need to fill the silence-but resist the urge.

Instead, maintain a warm, open body language and wait for them to respond. This pause respects their dignity and helps reduce feeling frustrated for you and your mom. Your pause is encouraging and gentle, showing that you value their voice, no matter how long it takes you to hear it.

Do Use Visual Cues

Visual cues can improve interaction and understanding, helping to bypass communication barriers that dementia presents. They can also provide context, trigger memories, and offer a sense of security and familiarity. 

You can use pictures of family members, friends, or pets and labels such as names for recognition.

Creating picture cards also helps seniors with dementia to communicate. Cards with pictures of daily activities, emotions, or objects can help to convey useful information to your loved one.

To guide an aging parent around the house, use signs to give directions, reduce confusion, and promote independence. These visual cues help communication and provide familiarity and comfort, making interactions more meaningful.

The Don'ts of Talking to a Parent with Dementia

You may face challenges and emotional hurdles when caring for a parent with dementia, but there are ways to navigate them with confidence and support from members of the family. It can be overwhelming when someone close to you is diagnosed with the condition.

You can get frustrated when they may have difficulty expressing themselves clearly. Here are some don'ts of talking to a parent with dementia that will ease communication and improve your loved one's confidence.

Don't Argue or Try to Correct Them

If you suspect your loved one may have dementia, don't argue with them. Arguing or correcting them usually worsens the situation.

Do not argue with your mom when she is not in tune with reality. For example, she might say, "I need to pick up the children from school," or "I have to go to the office now."

In a situation like this, you need to redirect the conversation to minimize their anxiety. Guide the discussion toward something comforting. This approach allows caregivers to create a calm, supportive environment where your loved one feels reassured, reducing their stress while strengthening your connection.

Don't Overwhelm Them with Too Much Information

When talking to a parent with dementia, it is crucial to keep everything clear and simple. Overwhelming them with too much information can lead to stress and confusion. You can focus on delivering one piece of information at a time. Use a calm and reassuring tone to talk with them using short, familiar words.

If they are overwhelmed, pause the conversation and give them time to process before proceeding. The goal is to reduce anxiety and foster understanding, making the conversation more comforting and manageable for you and your loved one.

Don't Take It Personally

When caring for an older adult with dementia, it is crucial to remember that the frustrations or confusion they express is not directed to you personally. Dementia causes agitation, mood swings, or forgetfulness. While these moments may be challenging, the disease causes them-not your loved one.

Try to be compassionate and patient, knowing your support and presence are appreciated, even if they don't show it. By not taking anything personally and staying calm, you create a more comforting environment for both of you.

How JubileeTV Can Support Communication and Caregiving

JubileeTV supports communication and caregiving by transforming a familiar device into a powerful tool for connection, support, and peace of mind. For caregivers, the platform offers real-time remote TV control, two-way communication, and visibility into your loved one's routines.

This makes it easy to stay connected without the need for complex technology.

The platform allows easy check-ins, reminders, and video calls, ensuring seniors remain engaged and supported. Caregivers can monitor activity, drop in without disrupting and provide assistance remotely.

This simplicity empowers seniors to maintain independence while easing the caregiving process, creating a comforting and connected environment for all.

Easy Video Calling

JubileeTV's easy video calling feature offers a simple and intuitive way to stay connected with loved ones.

JubileeTV turns any TV into a user-friendly communication hub that brings families closer. Caregivers can effortlessly check in with their loved ones through video calls, ensuring they feel supported and engaged.

JubileeTV is purpose-built for seniors, making it easy to use without complicated technology. Whether it is an important reminder or a casual chat with family, JubileeTV simplifies caregiving and provides peace of mind while fostering more independence for seniors.

Remote Reminders and Check-Ins

JubileeTV supports families by making it easy to schedule reminders and check-in, offering caregivers an easy way to stay connected without being intrusive. 

By sending reminders directly to the TV, caregivers can assist seniors in managing tasks, medication, or fun activities for seniors with dementia.

JubileeTV's gentle prompts ensure safety and promote engagement in everyday life, making it easier for older adults to maintain a routine. 

The Drop In feature allows families to check in without disrupting their loved one's independence. Whether it's making sure they are safe, or checking that they're following their routine as planned. Families can start a Drop In session anytime, which gives a one-way view into their loved one's space. 

Whether using the platform to send a medicine alert, make sure all is well, or setting reminder to participate in a hobby or watch a favorite show, JubileeTV makes caregiving feel more connected and supportive.

Simplified TV Controls for Seniors

JubileeTV's simple-to-use TV controls make it easy for seniors to stay engaged and connected with family. Caregivers can manage the TV remotely, change the settings, and provide real-time support, ensuring seniors can always access the content they want.

This feature eliminates the struggle with complicated remotes, offering older adults an intuitive way to interact with technology. Combined with apps to simplify caregiving tasks, JubileeTV offers a seamless solution that enhances seniors' independence and eases caregivers' mental load.

Compassionate Communication with a Parent Experiencing Dementia

Talking to a parent with dementia can be frustrating, but following the above dos and don'ts can foster meaningful conversations. Remember to be patient, communicate clearly, and meet your loved ones where they are. The right approach can minimize the frustrations and deepen your connection during these tough times.

Looking for an easier way to stay connected with your loved one? Take the quiz now to see if you qualify for a free trial of JubileeTV and simplify caregiving today.