8 Practical Tips for Checking on Elderly Loved Ones
Caring for elderly loved ones is a balancing act. You want to check in on them to make sure they're safe and well. But you also don't want them to feel like you're running a covert surveillance operation.
Maybe it's a quick phone call to hear their voice. Maybe it's a visit to catch up over coffee and confirm that the fridge isn't just full of expired yogurt. Either way, there's a balance to strike: showing up for them while respecting their independence.
The good news? It doesn't have to feel like an episode of 24. With the right tips, tools, and a sprinkle of patience, you can look out for your loved ones without making them want to block your number.
Here are 8 practical (and totally doable) tips for checking on elderly family members-without making anyone wish for the Witness Protection Program.
Essential Tips for Checking on Elderly Loved Ones
1. Use Technology to Stay Connected
You don't need to helicopter in every day. Thanks to modern tech, staying connected is easier than ordering takeout.
Video Calls: A quick FaceTime, Zoom, or TV video calling session goes a long way. Seeing your loved one in their space helps you pick up on small details-like if they seem tired, distracted, not quite themselves, or have adopted 12 cats since last you checked. Plus, it feels more personal than just a phone call.
Messaging Apps: Tools like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or good old-fashioned texting are great for quick updates. A simple "How are you today?" or sharing a funny meme can brighten their day without feeling intrusive.
JubileeTV: Platforms like JubileeTV take it a step further. You can send photos, videos, and reminders straight to their TV screen-a device they already use and love. It also lets you monitor TV habits and activity to make sure everything's running smoothly. Did the TV stay off all day? It might be worth checking in.
Smart Home Devices: If your loved one is open to it, smart home devices like Amazon Alexa or Google Home can be helpful for reminders, entertainment, and even wellness checks. They can set timers for medications, ask questions, or even call you hands-free.
Pro Tip: Schedule video calls ahead of time and keep them consistent. A 10-minute catch-up at the same time every day (or week) can become a comforting routine.
The bottom line: Technology doesn't replace human connection, but it makes staying in touch simpler, quicker, and more effective.
2. Create a Routine That Works for Everyone
Checking in works best when it's part of the daily rhythm. Think of it like brushing your teeth-a habit that keeps everyone happy and healthy.
Routines bring structure and comfort, not just for you, the adult children, but for your loved one, too.
Knowing when they can expect to hear from you or see you takes away the guesswork and reduces anxiety when supporting elderly parents at home. For example:
- A Morning Check-In: A text or phone call to kick off the day. Something simple, like, "Good morning! Did you sleep okay? What's on the agenda for today?"
- An Evening Recap: A quick chat to wind down the day. Ask, "What did you watch today? How'd that recipe turn out?" These chats help them feel connected to your life while sharing theirs.
- Weekly Visits or Outings: Pick a day and stick with it. Use this time for errands, a virtual coffee date, or just sitting on the porch together. It doesn't have to be fancy. Consistency matters more than anything else.
Having a routine also makes it easier to spot changes. If they start skipping calls or seem disinterested during regular video calls, it might signal that something's off. These little patterns help you stay on top of their well-being without hovering.
Flexibility is Key: Life happens, and routines get disrupted. If you can't make it for the regular visit, let them know and reschedule. Small reassurances like, "I'm swamped today, but I'll video call tomorrow instead," keep communication open and build trust.
Mix routines with a little variety. A morning call every day is great, but surprising them with tickets to their favorite local diner once in a while makes it even better. Routines don't have to feel robotic.
The goal is simple: make check-ins part of life, not an obligation. Routines keep everyone connected, cared for, and happy.
3. Make Visits Engaging and Enjoyable
You don't want your visits to feel like an audit. So make them something to look forward to. A visit should be as much about connection and fun as it is about checking in and avoiding social isolation.
Here are some ways to make it enjoyable:
- Bring Their Favorites: Show up with their favorite takeout, a treat from the bakery, or a fresh pot of coffee. Bonus points if you remember their exact order or surprise them with something nostalgic (like the candy they loved as a kid).
- Share Entertainment: Watching a movie together, playing cards, or tuning into their favorite show makes visits feel special. Need a foolproof option? Old comedies are always a hit-everyone loves a good laugh with I Love Lucy or The Golden Girls.
- Do Something Active: If they're up for it, go for a short walk around the neighborhood or visit a local park. Even simple outings, like grabbing ice cream or checking out a farmers' market, can add variety and joy.
- Work on Projects Together: Bring a fun activity to do as a team-puzzles, scrapbooking, or organizing photo albums. These activities are engaging, spark conversation, and give you a chance to create new memories while honoring old ones.
- Ask and Listen: Let them guide the conversation. Ask about their favorite books, hobbies, or stories from the past. You might hear something new (or the same story for the 12th time-and that's okay).
Plan visits around their energy levels. Mornings might be best for a coffee catch-up, while evenings could be more relaxed with a movie or simple dinner.
The key is to keep visits meaningful, low-pressure, and enjoyable. When your loved one looks forward to seeing you, you've hit the sweet spot.
4. Watch for Subtle Changes in Behavior
This part's tricky, because your loved one may not come out and say, "Hey, I'm not feeling great."
Sometimes it's the little things that tell you something might be wrong:
- Changes in Sleep Habits: They might sleep much more than usual or struggle to get a good night's rest.
- Loss of Interest: Are they skipping favorite TV shows, hobbies, or social activities?
- Unusual Mood Shifts: Notice if they seem irritable, withdrawn, or overly quiet when they're usually chatty.
- Decline in Appearance or Home Cleanliness: Disheveled clothes, unwashed dishes, or a cluttered home could signal trouble.
- Memory Lapses: Repeating stories or struggling to recall names might point to cognitive changes that need attention.
If you spot any of these signs, it doesn't mean you need to panic. But it might be time for a conversation:
- Gently Ask Questions: "You've seemed a little tired lately. Is everything okay?" or "How have you been feeling this week?"
- Offer Support: "Would you like me to help schedule a doctor's appointment?" or "Let's work on this together."
Keep notes on anything you observe-small changes over time can reveal a bigger pattern. Sharing this information with a health care provider or medical professional can be helpful if a health concern arises.
By staying alert to these subtle shifts, you're able to catch potential problems early and provide the care they need while respecting their independence.
5. Encourage Independence While Offering Support
Your loved one has lived a long life. They're proud of their independence, and you're not about to steal that from them.
Offer Support Without Taking Over: Be a partner, not a manager. Offer to help, but let them make the final decisions. For example:
- Set up a medication reminder app or system, but let them choose how they want to handle it.
- Ask if they'd like assistance with grocery shopping or cooking, but allow them to decide the menu.
- Suggest resources for mobility aids or home safety improvements, but don't be overbearing.
Celebrate Their Strengths: Focus on what they can do, not what they can't. For elderly people, highlighting their independence boosts confidence and self-worth. Praise small wins, like remembering an appointment or completing a favorite hobby.
Provide Tools for Success: Small adjustments can make a big difference. There are tons of great products out there designed to make life easier and safer for people who want to stay independent at home. For example:
- Grab bars in bathrooms to improve safety.
- Medical alert systems to react to falls and alert emergency services.
- Voice-activated devices for easy control over lights, reminders, or calls.
- JubileeTV to simplify reminders, share messages, and maintain routines without micromanaging.
Keep Communication Open: Sometimes, offering support is as simple as asking: "Is there anything you'd like help with this week?" This empowers them to ask for assistance without feeling pressured.
Pro Tip: Independence shouldn't equal isolation. Be present, stay engaged, and let them know you're always available-without hovering. By respecting their autonomy, you'll strengthen trust and keep their spirits high.
6. Share the Responsibility
Caregiving doesn't have to be a solo act. Sharing the responsibility can make a huge difference-for you and your loved one. Here's how to lighten the load:
- Rally the Family: Siblings, cousins, and even older grandchildren can take turns checking in or helping out. Use a caregiving app or create a shared calendar to coordinate who's visiting or calling on specific days. This prevents overlap and ensures your loved one has regular interactions.
- Engage Trusted Friends or Neighbors: Sometimes, a neighbor can drop by to visit the older person and share a cup of tea or keep an eye out for any concerning changes. Many people are willing to help; they just need to be asked. Neighborhood groups or community organizations might even have volunteers who can assist.
- Leverage Technology: Use apps or tools like JubileeTV to keep everyone updated. Shared reminders, notifications, and activity monitoring ensure that the whole support network stays informed without duplicating efforts.
- Professional Caregiver Services: If family or friends can't consistently pitch in, consider hiring part-time caregivers to help. Home health aides, cleaning services, or meal delivery can reduce the daily caregiving burden while ensuring your loved one is well-supported.
Pro Tip: Clear communication is key. Use group texts, shared apps, or regular family meetings to stay coordinated. Dividing responsibilities makes caregiving more manageable and helps prevent burnout.
By creating a team approach, you ensure your loved one has a support system that feels like a village-not just a solo effort.
7. Be Patient and Listen Actively
Patience is the unsung hero of caregiving. It's not always easy to stay calm when your loved one retells the same story or moves at their own pace, but active listening can transform your interactions into meaningful moments.
- Focus Fully: Put your phone away and give them your undivided attention. It shows respect and helps them feel valued.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Questions like, "What was your favorite thing about growing up in your hometown?" or "Tell me about the first time you met Dad/Mom" invite storytelling and spark memories.
- Respond Thoughtfully: Instead of rushing to fill silences, let them take their time. Reflect back what you hear: "It sounds like that vacation to the lake was really special to you."
- Acknowledge Emotions: Whether they're sharing joy, frustration, or sadness, validate their feelings. A simple "That must have been tough" or "I can see why that made you so happy" goes a long way.
- Adapt to Their Pace: Older adults may take longer to express their thoughts or share stories. Patience allows you to fully engage with them without feeling rushed.
Pro Tip: Active listening is a skill that benefits both you and your loved one. It creates a safe space for them to open up while strengthening your bond.
By practicing patience and truly listening, you turn caregiving moments into opportunities for connection. These small acts of attention and understanding remind your loved one that they're cared for and heard.
8. Bring In Professional Help When Needed
Sometimes, caregiving can feel overwhelming, and that's okay. Recognizing when to bring in professional help is a strength, not a failure. Here's how additional support can prevent you from feeling stuck caring for an aging parent:
- Home Care Services: Part-time or full-time aides can assist with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, and personal care. This ensures your loved one's needs are met without stretching you too thin.
- Medical Support: Nurses or physical therapists can visit to manage specific health concerns, from medication administration to post-surgery rehabilitation. Their expertise can provide peace of mind and better health outcomes.
- Meal Delivery Services: Nutrition is critical, and meal delivery services tailored to seniors' dietary needs can take one more thing off your plate. Programs like Meals on Wheels also provide regular check-ins with friendly faces.
- Companionship Programs: Loneliness is a real challenge for many older adults. Hiring a companion-or even connecting with volunteers through community organizations-offers your loved one social interaction and emotional support.
- Leverage Technology for Monitoring: Tools like JubileeTV allow you to keep an eye on routines, send reminders, and even ensure the TV is on and in use-all without constant in-person oversight.
Pro Tip: Professional help isn't just for emergencies. Even a few hours a week of extra assistance can give you the breathing room you need to recharge and focus on quality time with your loved one.
By building a plan that includes a mix of technology, professional and community support, you create a balance between caregiving and self-care. It's a win for everyone involved.
How Often Should You Check On the Elderly?
There's no one-size-fits-all answer-it depends on your loved one's needs, health, and living situation.
Here are some general guidelines to help you decide:
- Daily Check-Ins: Ideal for loved ones who have health concerns, mobility issues, or live alone. A quick video call, text, or visit ensures they're safe and have everything they need.
- A Few Times a Week: Works well for older adults who are relatively independent but might need occasional support. These check-ins can focus on companionship, running errands, or catching up on household tasks.
- Weekly Visits: Suitable for those with nearby family or neighbors who also check in. Weekly visits allow you to maintain a connection while ensuring everything is in order.
What to Consider:
- Health Status: Do they have chronic conditions or a history of falls? More frequent contact may be necessary.
- Living Situation: Are they in a retirement community with staff, or living alone? Independent living often calls for more regular check-ins.
- Personality: Some seniors enjoy daily calls, while others prefer less frequent communication. Tailor your approach to their comfort level.
- Warning Signs: Pay attention to changes in behavior, hygiene, or home cleanliness. If things seem off, it might be time to increase the frequency of visits or calls.
Pro Tip: It's okay to adjust the schedule as needed. If they're recovering from an illness or surgery, more frequent check-ins might be essential. Conversely, if they're thriving, you might scale back a bit while staying attentive.
Finding the right balance means staying involved without overwhelming them. Regular check-ins, whether daily, weekly, or somewhere in between, are about providing support and ensuring peace of mind for everyone involved.
How JubileeTV Can Simplify Check-Ins
JubileeTV is like having a superpower for anyone with elderly parents living independently. keeping an eye on loved ones while respecting their independence.
Simplified Communication Tools
- Send reminders or messages directly to their TV screen.
- Share photos and videos to brighten their day.
Monitoring TV Usage and Preferences
- Know when the TV's on or off (translation: when they're up and about).
- See their routines and habits without being intrusive.
- Get notified if the TV doesn't turn on by a certain time.
Providing Peace of Mind
- Start a Drop In session to see if everything's okay without disrupting their independence.
- Check the Activity Feed to see if they're following their typical routine (and get notified if not).
- Stay connected from anywhere with video calling on their TV.
- Feel confident that they're okay, even when you can't be there in person.
Final Thoughts
Checking in on elderly loved ones doesn't have to be stressful. With routines, a little tech, and some shared effort, you can show up in ways that matter-without making them feel like they're under surveillance.
And hey, if you need an extra hand, JubileeTV is here to make it easier.
